. . . How they can improve your erotic life!
A guest post by Somatic Sex Educator, Lorraine L. (Sidney BC)
Would you believe that the most underused tool in our sexual pleasure treasure kit is not lube, not lingerie, not even your tongue . . . It’s breath.
Breathing is an essential skill and something we do – on average – 16 times per minute, 960 times an hour and 23,000 times a day; yet, most of us pay very little attention to it.
If we do think about breath, it’s most likely because we are running out of it, choking on something, or gasping for it. It’s the first thing we bring into our body when we’re born into the world and the last thing to leave our body as we pass on. The timeline between our first and last breath is, well, now . . . this life.
How well are you breathing? Notice how you are breathing in this moment. Is it chesty and high in the body or deep from your diaphragm? Just notice.
Let’s take a moment here to pay some breathy homage to this most vital bodily function.
Feel the air entering your sinuses, feel into your breath with gratitude for your pulse today.
Breathing is not only regenerative and restorative, it’s super conducive to physical wellness, overall sexual health and . . . pleasure.
Breathing may not seem particularly sexy, but I assure you that it is key to:
- Feeling more sensation in the body
- Becoming more present and aware of our own body and partner’s body
- Increasing full body arousal and erotic embodiment
- Extending and expanding orgasm
- Helping prolong ejaculation
- Enhancing arousal & relaxation, eliminating stress
- Invigorating the senses
We can control and regulate our nervous system with breathing. We can calm, reset and arouse, or excite, awaken and stimulate – all with certain ways of breathing. Change and a shift in consciousness is literally just a breath away!
As I taught in my recent workshop here at Sexpositive Shop, breath and pleasure go hand in hand. They are true besties for erotic awakening, arousal and pleasure sensations.
Pleasure without conscious breathing is like summer without much sun: lacklustre. But when breath is long, deep and slow, the mind quietens. When the mind is quiet, presence prevails and the body relaxes.
In presence, we can better embody pleasure. More sensations are felt. Pleasures are heightened.
Breath. Presence. Breath. Pleasure.
Upon discovering that our genitals provide us with great pleasure, many of us learned at a young age to be ‘silent and speedy’ in pleasure for fear of being heard, found out, or discovered. Pleasure may have become a ‘hurried & hushed’ habit carried into adulthood.
Added to this quick and quiet habit, the holding of your breath and tensing of your body equals very limited pleasure.
Habits can easily be undone, especially when you have the intention to reprogram pleasure in the body. It just takes some practice, and honing sexual skills can be sexy and fun! A great first step is exploring and playing with breath techniques to expand your capacity for pleasure.
Welcome to your very own superpower: respiration. Get to know it!
Here’s a brief breathing exercise to explore and connect your genitals with your heart and breath.
- Sit or stand, feet firmly planted on ground
- Place one hand on genitals, cupping them, palm on pubic mound, fingers down and in a gentle hold
- Place the other hand on your heart
- Notice how it feels to hold your heart and genitals
- Begin to breathe deeply in through nose, take a 4 second-long inhale
- Exhale through mouth for count of 6, longer than inhale
- Breathe into your heart, breathe into genitals
- Add vibration into the palm of your hands
- Incorporate a moan or sound on the next few exhales
Give yourself permission to breathe with power, purpose and presence.
You are allowed to be heard, to breathe heavily with a sigh, a moan or a hum. This can enhance the pleasurable sensations pulsing through your body.
Support yourself to be wild in the pursuit of arousal and what brings you enjoyment.
Breathe and remember . . . Pleasure is a practice!